Of alliances, failed party marriages, MOU’s and all things political
By Nducu wa Ngugi

The presidential and parliamentary elections in Kenya have never been without some drama and the build up to this year’s plebiscite is no different. What has been interesting is the rate at which political marriages and shifting alliances have arisen and fallen, parties re-named and, or re-invented, assimilated or morphed. As a Kenyan National living abroad the information I receive is always reported by a third party and it is therefore hard to gauge the political climate at home except perhaps to say it’s heating up.

Given the sporadic news that filter through the internet chat rooms and at whatever dotcom it is hard to say which Kenyan presidential and/or parliamentary candidate is a favorite amongst the Kenyans or who will win.

Many of us have therefore turned to our own political mathematicians (PM) who now have the numbers down to a science. PNU must carry such and such province to win, ODM must do this and that, ODM-K needs PNU and ODM to split this block in order to come in as backdoor surprise shocker. It goes on and on, all kinds of combinations and formulas. But those of us adept in things mathematical and acrobatic have no problems with exercise in political possibility.

As you listen to these juggernauts formulate electorate calculations, tabulate and re-invent numbers, (sources of which are suspicious) your head starts spinning trying to keep up with the numbers thrown at you. After a while they all begin to run together and you just sit back watching the political mouth contort as it attempts to convince you that Kibaki minus Odinga does or does not equals to Kalonzo(or whatever algebraic combinations of the day).

As the PM render their memory banks blank with fatigue trying to keep up with who belongs to which party it becomes an even more futile, exhausting and frustrating endeavor trying to enunciate what each party stands for? Does any one even know? Do the politicians themselves know?

As you listen keenly trying to draw a Venn diagram in your mind, a sudden sprinkle of political saliva comes flying at you from the PM’s mouth. Some of it lands on your face or worse yet, your lower political lip. You remain stunned, unsure of how much time should elapse before you can wipe out this political faux pas off you. Depending on the venom that is being thrown at you, a little tolerance is advised as you wait for the next shower of political balderdash to come torrentially, laced with all things tribal.

After the numbers have been crunched and carried over here and there the conclusion, (drum roll please): It is going to be a tight race. Gee, thanks, I would not have known that so thanks for your political grand wizardly.

But whatever the case we can say with certainty, a word not very popular with politicians, who frantically switch parties like a chameleon crossing a rainbow, that whoever is going to win will have a very polarized nation to lord over. And the next five years might be spent trying to piece us together once more into a nation healing from broken seams.

As the euphoria that comes with elections subsides and the dust settles, we Kenyans, at home and abroad will have to pick up where we left off and trudge on, regardless of our fruit orientation, building equipment preference or national unity organ regardless of what acronym stands before it, P or K.

How did we get here?

Well to the best of my recollection, dust and all, it all started when the possibility of the removal of a hermaphroditic ruler became eminent (Baba na Mama wetu). He would retire; go back to where he had come from and enjoy watching his project(s) grow. That did not come to pass because an alliance, no, a huge umbrella of many colors like Josephs coat was formed with the goal of making sure that no projects will be imposed on a people. They just called it the Rainbow Coalition because it had a good sound to it than what might have been previously conceived: Josephs Coat of Many Colors Alliance Party of Kenya (JOCOMACOALLPAKE).

The MOU was sealed with a now famous Kibaki Tosha statement by one Raila, son of the late Jaramogi. It seemed that we had come full circle. Or had we? Arranged political marriages can be fickle as the glue that binds them is slippery fluid, changing its texture with every demand or failed promise. You know what they say about children of incest! It is crazy glue I tell you and not the kind you want to fix your hammer with. In any case it seems that the rallying call now is Kibaki Toka or Kibaki Tena.

We understand that they had a MOU (no not MOI), which we are told by insiders had several agreements on the sharing of power or creation of more power. But they could not agree on which power would have more power over the other powers and since they all wanted power, the understanding of the MOU’s became misunderstood. Damn! Did any one get that? Whatever the MOU dictum was, someone changed the rules of engagement and the marriage broke up. The aggrieved parties too did not see eye to eye and they also split up. At some time it seemed everyone was splitting up with everybody. The seven year itch of political marriages had come upon us!

The political fabric begun to crumble soon after the rainbow endowed the political skies with its bright colorful promises. A czar was even appointed to fight graft, a job he took too seriously for the liking of some. Then there was that constitution amendment. It is said in many political circles that during this debate Kenyans, per capita, were the healthiest they have been. Who knew that fruit could make such powerful political symbols while also eliminating acne and malnutrition? Genius I says, pure genius. Now, if only they can do something with poverty and security.

Before the fruit induced-political fallout many people believed that the work that had been done by so many, inside and outside Kenya was finally coming to bear fruit. But the political leadership that assumed power had no new faces, just new parties dancing to the music of the rainbow. One cannot go through such a quick political metamorphosis and so the dancing became chaotic as many of them wanted to keep the beat. Some even came with their own drums and started playing the tom toms in the middle of the Soukous rhythms of Unbwogable! Some major clean up was in order.

Can you believe that while any one who left Kenya in the early seventies would not recognize all the new parties they would still recognize the politicians! It seems that politicians are a not a renewable resource, so we recycle. There should be a global award for this.

As the opposition splintered and then begun to regroup, re-birth and re-invent itself, creating and recreating there emerged a classic case of a political tower of Babel. The major political giants begun to splinter into smaller factions that bore the same name. Lawsuits and counter lawsuits of who was the rightful owner of what. The peoples voice got lost and the true nature of the political organs begun to show. Those who had joined certain parties without reading the manifesto found themselves lost in the darkness. They jumped from party to party depending on where they thought they were best suited to receive the droppings of power. Some even left their political father and mother in search of favors elsewhere. Some of the political men and women of Kenya showed no spine, no principle, and no stand. Whichever way the wind blew that day, they joined the fray and sped along. Not once did they stop to ask where they were going?

My political mathematician assured me that there are only three key parties, PNU, ODM and ODM-K vying for the position of president of Kenya. I figured with this three at least we could distinguish them apart by their manifesto. So I asked my very knowledgeable PM to break it down for me. What did each stand for as a party? What are their selling points? What makes them distinguishable from the others?

With a puzzled groan he looked straight at me. Hmm, I thought, this is what I have been saying all along: that no one seems to know!

After a while he cleared his throat. This was going to be good, I thought then he said.
PNU stands for Party of National Unity, ODM stands for Orange Democratic Movem….!

As I walked home that night, I thought to myself, we still don’t have this party thing down. A party has to stand for something, an agenda. It must be draw from principles that guide its vision for the country and not by mere personalities. These principles must shaped by an ideology that tells the people where you are taking them and why. They must inform the voters on what type of governance a people can expect from them so that there will be no surprises along the political highway.

The party manifesto must then be the driving force of that particular party and not the mere mortals that jumps from one party to the next like wild hogs!

Nducu wa Ngugi : is an educator and writer based in Atlanta, Georgia. He has a BA from Oberlin College, Ohio and a Masters in Education from Mercer University , Georgia.